Happily sad

The darkness was engulfing everything around him,the enormous trees looked like a wall between him and the chaos of this world.He was sitting in the dark listening to the river waves.Just some moments before he was happy,laughing and goofing around with friends.He played pool after long,after very long he'd say.But somewhere he was afraid that maybe if he will not show his happiness on the outside people will know that he is someone else,he is something else.
Don't we all do this?
Don't we all show one side of us,the shallow,the happy go lucky side of us to protect what we really are.I'm not saying not to do it instead I support it in every way possible cause if people know what we are they will either pity us, hate us or fear us.
When you are alone one of two things comes to your mind.All the good you have done or all the bad you have done and you know it was a good day so the night was ready to balance the universe.Things he had done which were still okay for some people but you only know how hard it hits when you fall yourself and it was recent when he fell hard,very hard.Karma is a bitch,his own deeds came back to punish him in a way only he knows.His punishment was his happiness,his face will smile but his smile will never reach his eyes.He will not be able to tell anyone about how it feels but he will die slowly and painfully.
He accepted his demons and everything he was offered with,he drank the poison and made a pact with his demons that if a day comes when he will be free,when his sentence will end.He will rise again from his ashes like a Phoenix.
Until then he must walk around happily sad.